Do you ever get the feeling that something life defining is on its way for you?
The feeling is viral.
It infects you.
There is no escape.
It eats away at you like a disease.
If only you could see it.
If only you could answer it.
But it's elusive, and intangible.
It asks everything of you.
It asks the only question that matters.
Its something that will give you a purpose in this pitifully and depressingly short life?
It could be a combination of a couple/few things or just one epic adventure that you have been subconsciously preparing for, for your entire life, and were chosen to do at your conception.
I believe with all my heart that my "odyssey" has come.
I will have a defintion.
I will have an endeavour.
I will have...
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
of punting babies and other such matters
I find myself willing and wanting to punt babies when certain things happen. Such things are as follows. (in order, kinda)
-Hearing people eat, even if their mouth is closed. Its disgusting and unnecessary. If you are one of these people, you disgust me.
-Hearing people slurp anything of any kind. I find it happens with coffee more than anything else. therefore i will not have coffee with you if you slurp it.
-Hearing people swallow extremely loud. It sounds like it hurts and makes me want to karate chop your throat.
-People asking me questions during a movie that we both have never seen. I know just as much as you, f*cking retard.
-People gasping and "oooing and ahhhing" in a movie theatre. Shut up you degenerate piece of crap.
-Being behind someone while getting on the freeway that is doing 30-40 mph. You are going to kill me you stupid f*ck. cars on the road you are getting on are doing 65+ mph. you would do well to follow suit.
-Being scolded by anyone that is not my mother. Note: my face and the murderous gaze i am directing towards said person.
-Listening to someone that i know is stupid, try to sound smart by using big words incorrectly. I have recently adopted a "slapping policy" with these people. If you are one of these people, dont talk to me, you will be slapped, and immediatley following said "slap" you will be ridiculed and reminded that you are stupid.
-People that talk about the TV show "lost" like its a religion. The show is stupid, and you dont know anything, in fact you know less about the show than when you watched the first episode. Shut up.
-People that still say "whaaaaat?" "ooooooook!!!" and quote nepoleon dynamite.
Well that about wraps it up. Thanks for reading my rant.
(i am not as hateful as i sound here. i'm actually really nice. But everyone has their buttons. i just chose to list them on my blog.)
-Hearing people eat, even if their mouth is closed. Its disgusting and unnecessary. If you are one of these people, you disgust me.
-Hearing people slurp anything of any kind. I find it happens with coffee more than anything else. therefore i will not have coffee with you if you slurp it.
-Hearing people swallow extremely loud. It sounds like it hurts and makes me want to karate chop your throat.
-People asking me questions during a movie that we both have never seen. I know just as much as you, f*cking retard.
-People gasping and "oooing and ahhhing" in a movie theatre. Shut up you degenerate piece of crap.
-Being behind someone while getting on the freeway that is doing 30-40 mph. You are going to kill me you stupid f*ck. cars on the road you are getting on are doing 65+ mph. you would do well to follow suit.
-Being scolded by anyone that is not my mother. Note: my face and the murderous gaze i am directing towards said person.
-Listening to someone that i know is stupid, try to sound smart by using big words incorrectly. I have recently adopted a "slapping policy" with these people. If you are one of these people, dont talk to me, you will be slapped, and immediatley following said "slap" you will be ridiculed and reminded that you are stupid.
-People that talk about the TV show "lost" like its a religion. The show is stupid, and you dont know anything, in fact you know less about the show than when you watched the first episode. Shut up.
-People that still say "whaaaaat?" "ooooooook!!!" and quote nepoleon dynamite.
Well that about wraps it up. Thanks for reading my rant.
(i am not as hateful as i sound here. i'm actually really nice. But everyone has their buttons. i just chose to list them on my blog.)
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The way He loves...
I am reminded everyday when i look in the mirror that I am imperfect.
It is the imperfections that make me wonder if human love is in fact real. How is it humanly possible to love imperfections? My shortcomings and malformations alike make me question whether or not someone can really love you just as you are. The way He made you. The answer is you cannot humanly do it.
I find myself thinking "if they really knew me, they would hate me." So I hide. I cower in this corner of disgust and loathing for myself because i hate me for things that I have done. Never once remembering the truth, i play this game of deceit with strangers and friends. Masking my grief and un-forgiveness with a smile and a handshake. Sometimes I even trick myself into liking me.
Human love is fleeting and in many ways un-romantic. It has no depth, no sustaining drive, and it is irrational. It is imperfect because it is human. I cannot love completely because of this inconvenient fact so how can i expect anyone else to?
Love is not of this world. It transcends it. There are many people who think they know what it is and think they actually are in love, but how can they be? We can only love fully when we know the one who loved perfectly. Jesus the Christ. He romanced his people. Paul the apostle tells us in his 2nd letter to the Corinthians that we are promised to Him (Jesus) as a pure bride. (2 Corinthians 11:2) His love is romantic and beautiful. What is more beautiful than a pure bride on her wedding day?
I am not only referring to loving your wife. I am talking about love in its purest form. They way He loves. Unconditionally rendered to this imperfect, sin ridden, world. Why? How? It is love, it is perfect, it is God, and He is not of this world.
So the next time I look in the mirror I am not going to be looking at what sin has done to my self image but what Christ has done. He took me imperfect, made me pure, and loves me perfectly, and by knowing Him I can love the way He does. Fully, beautifully, and, Perfectly.
It is the imperfections that make me wonder if human love is in fact real. How is it humanly possible to love imperfections? My shortcomings and malformations alike make me question whether or not someone can really love you just as you are. The way He made you. The answer is you cannot humanly do it.
I find myself thinking "if they really knew me, they would hate me." So I hide. I cower in this corner of disgust and loathing for myself because i hate me for things that I have done. Never once remembering the truth, i play this game of deceit with strangers and friends. Masking my grief and un-forgiveness with a smile and a handshake. Sometimes I even trick myself into liking me.
Human love is fleeting and in many ways un-romantic. It has no depth, no sustaining drive, and it is irrational. It is imperfect because it is human. I cannot love completely because of this inconvenient fact so how can i expect anyone else to?
Love is not of this world. It transcends it. There are many people who think they know what it is and think they actually are in love, but how can they be? We can only love fully when we know the one who loved perfectly. Jesus the Christ. He romanced his people. Paul the apostle tells us in his 2nd letter to the Corinthians that we are promised to Him (Jesus) as a pure bride. (2 Corinthians 11:2) His love is romantic and beautiful. What is more beautiful than a pure bride on her wedding day?
I am not only referring to loving your wife. I am talking about love in its purest form. They way He loves. Unconditionally rendered to this imperfect, sin ridden, world. Why? How? It is love, it is perfect, it is God, and He is not of this world.
So the next time I look in the mirror I am not going to be looking at what sin has done to my self image but what Christ has done. He took me imperfect, made me pure, and loves me perfectly, and by knowing Him I can love the way He does. Fully, beautifully, and, Perfectly.
My job is to remind...
I am a post-it note.
My job is to remind—not to condemn, not to harass.
My job is to remind of the time when God wrapped loving arms around you and said "you are not alone".
My job is to remind of the time when you were so in love with God that a smile was all you could wear.
My job is to remind that you are God's masterpiece. Made exactly how He wanted you to be made. He made you and said "it is good".
My job is to remind you that God is not a crutch, but a foundation. When you are torn down by life, you do not lean on God he carries you.
My job is to remind you that pain is not God's fault, its the worlds, and the decisions made by everyone in it.
My job is to remind you, God did not make robots, he made living, free thinking, freewill using, human beings. What you do is up to you. His plan for your life, and what you do with your life MIGHT be two different things. Freewill is the operative word.
My job is to remind you that God's love for you is unconditional. He starts from your last mistake and says "ok i forgive you, now lets do it my way." but we will inevitably mess up again and he inevitably says the same thing.
My job is to remind everyday not with my words but with my actions.
My job is to love my neighbor. Not just the family that lives in the apt. next to me, but everyone in this world, no matter their creed.
My job is to remind you that you are beautifully and wonderfully made. No mistakes were made when you were on the drawing table.
My job is to remind you that YOU ARE LOVED.
My job is to remind—not to condemn, not to harass.
My job is to remind of the time when God wrapped loving arms around you and said "you are not alone".
My job is to remind of the time when you were so in love with God that a smile was all you could wear.
My job is to remind that you are God's masterpiece. Made exactly how He wanted you to be made. He made you and said "it is good".
My job is to remind you that God is not a crutch, but a foundation. When you are torn down by life, you do not lean on God he carries you.
My job is to remind you that pain is not God's fault, its the worlds, and the decisions made by everyone in it.
My job is to remind you, God did not make robots, he made living, free thinking, freewill using, human beings. What you do is up to you. His plan for your life, and what you do with your life MIGHT be two different things. Freewill is the operative word.
My job is to remind you that God's love for you is unconditional. He starts from your last mistake and says "ok i forgive you, now lets do it my way." but we will inevitably mess up again and he inevitably says the same thing.
My job is to remind everyday not with my words but with my actions.
My job is to love my neighbor. Not just the family that lives in the apt. next to me, but everyone in this world, no matter their creed.
My job is to remind you that you are beautifully and wonderfully made. No mistakes were made when you were on the drawing table.
My job is to remind you that YOU ARE LOVED.
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