wait... ya i do remember that, what happened?

i think i had a life before you. i vaguely remember it. i think i left it for you, when i should have complimented it with you, but knowing you, you would've never let that happen, it wouldn't have fit into your plan. you're gone now as quickly as you came, and i am looking for a forethought, mine. i can't remember where i left it, somewhere in an obscure past littered with memory and nostalgia, i think it was good, happy even. i loosely remember better times and bigger lives, but its nowhere to be found. makes me wonder whether or not life existed before your coup de tat. was it all a dream, was it all a fallacy written to keep me searching and never living? i know i had it because i dream so lucidly about life before you... faces are blurred and stories are muddy, but it makes it worth while to go to sleep and i wake up almost healed, almost happy. then i remember that this is my life now, tarnished and jaded because i forgot my journey to you. i will keep looking, keep searching for what i had because it is out there somewhere and they/it is waiting for me to come back... it always has been.